We'll Call It "Whispering Monkey Skull at Tuscany Pointe"

I passed this giant piece of limestone sitting out in front of a subdivision in Ormond Beach.

New Tuscany Condos Probably Won't Be Called Tuscan Pointe

In the actual region of Tuscany, I wonder if these two workers pouring a porch on a condo construction job realize that across the world, in the fabled land of L'America, upper middle class white people think that God created Tuscany just for them to imitate.

Be it tile, paint, furniture, real estate, food or drink, we will somehow attach this image to any item named Tuscan: A Sunny Afternoon Feast spread out on a Big Oak Table Outdoors with a Rolling Hills Countryside Background while a Gentle Breeze Blows through a Renaissance Romance. Ah, yes. People will pay for that image. They will pay more than whatever you're selling is worth.

Locals Only: Goin' Tuscan

Part XI in a series on very local advertising

Again, as every week, the free pink ad thingy lands in the driveway. Here's a cover ad, half page, where the company's name is "Tuscany," because as we all know, if you lay down a Tuscan Tile in your home, you will be enjoy A Sunny Afternoon Feast spread out on a Big Oak Table Outdoors with a Rolling Hills Countryside Background while a Gentle Breeze Blows through a Renaissance Romance.

And who wouldn't want that in their home? Even if the tiles are mined from a quarry in Africa.

Previously in Locals Only
Previously in The Tuscan Trend^TM

Whiskers is Such a Romantic

As a follow up to last week's entry about The Tuscan Trend^™ (TTT^™), I can now without question state that Americans are serious suckers for anything named "Tuscan."

It's not enough anymore that your food, drink, home or apartment be Tuscanized, now your cat gets to eat Tuscan style.

Thank you, Fancy Feast^®. (A Purina^® product, which is a Nestlé^® company.)

With apologies to the mental health community and the mentally challenged, this nation is now officially retarded.

Tuscanize Your Brand

Just as we Americans are total suckers for an English accent when it's used in broadcast advertising, we are also drawn to all things that have the mysterious "Tuscan" tag affixed to them. I'm not sure when The Tuscan Trend™ (or TTT™) started, but I suspect it was around the time of the release of Kenneth Branagh's adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing, which was filmed in Tuscany. Whenever and however it started, TTT™ shows no signs of dying. Label it "Tuscan," marketers, and Americans will buy it.

In Chapel Hill, North Carolina, build your new home at Tuscany Ridge.

There's a Tuscany Ridge in St. Augustine, Florida.

How about The Estates at Tuscany Ridge in Tampa, Florida?

Maybe a West Virginian notion of a Tuscan Ridge is more to your liking.

Perfect your game at the Tuscan Ridge Golf Club in Paradise, California.

And what happens in Tuscany Village, Las Vegas, Nevada stays in Tuscany Village.

Visit Disney here in Orlando and stay just minutes away at a vacation home in Tuscan Ridge.

After a busy day at the parks, head over to Outback Steakhouse for the Chargrilled Tuscan Ribeye.

Dine at the Tuscany Grill in Suntree, Florida.

Or dine at the completely unrelated Tuscany Grill in Middletown, Connecticut.

Or dine at one of the 26 Brio Tuscan Grilles in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, Nevada, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Texas or Virginia.

Would you like to view The Chardonnay floorplan at the Tuscany Ridge Apartments in Temecula, California? (They also feature The Chablis, The Merlot, The Cabernet and The Bourdeaux. Classy.)

Slightly more affordable are the Tuscany Ridge Apartments in Peoria, Arizona.

I have not even scratched the surface of the Tuscan Naming Craze. Those were just random Googlings of the phrase "Tuscan Ridge." Try "Tuscan Hills" and you'll find another few hundred thousand.

Be it tile, paint, furniture, real estate, food or drink, we will somehow attach this image to any item named Tuscan: A Sunny Afternoon Feast spread out on a Big Oak Table Outdoors with a Rolling Hills Countryside Background while a Gentle Breeze Blows through a Renaissance Romance. Ah, yes. People will pay for that image. They will pay more than whatever you're selling is worth.

Maybe it's me, but when I think of a Tuscan apartment, I've got something more like this* in mind.

(And this reminds me that I need to do a post on the whole Olde English way of spelling stuff in new developments here in America, like towne, centre or shoppes.)

*Not really in Tuscany, but further north in the Pennavaire Valley, in the town of Colletta, being billed as a "Medieval e-Village" with Broadband for everyone. Exceedingly cool.