7-11 Coffee Drinkers a Bunch of Radical Liberals Who Want to Raise Your Taxes

I received a note from Margaret Chabris of 7-Eleven's Marketing/PR department last night. They got the site up and it's pretty nice. Based on yesterday's sales of McCain and Obama coffee cups, it's Obama in a landslide.


Results are cumulative and hovering over state will give you that state's breakdown.That's pretty impressive when you think about it. You buy a cup of coffee and based on the UPC, your data is recorded and sent to this site within a day. But it won't be long before we hear charges of voter fraud and rigged machines.

Like everyone else in the country except Fox News, I'm pretty sure 7-Eleven is "in the tank" for Obama. McCain can't even get his message through the coffee filter.

Coffee with the Candidates

If I am jacked up today on caffeine, I blame 7-11 for providing their Obama and McCain cups only in the large size.

7-Eleven is again conducting their presidential poll via coffee cups. They call it "7-Election." Choose McCain or Obama cups and the UPC scan records your choice. Says 7-Eleven President and CEO Joe DePinto, “7-Election provides an interesting daily snapshot of the election.”

Clever idea, except they do not provide a daily snapshot of the election. The cups are in the stores and I'm drinking from one now, but nowhere on 7-Eleven's site is this mentioned, and the website "7-Election" is "coming soon." I blame IT, as they are usually prima donna punks acting all swamped and put-upon and "no one appreciates us."

A long and silly press release is here, including where DePinto calls us "citizen-customers."

A View of Advertising - From The Other Side

My local 7-11’s cast of clerk characters is pretty consistent. Not a lot of turnover at this store. One of the best is Babu, a man probably in his late 50s who is as sarcastic a person as I have ever met, so naturally I think he's great. I sometimes think the character of Apu on The Simpsons was based on Babu.

If someone buys a lottery ticket, Babu berates them with a smile, telling them the lottery is all a scam and if you don’t live in Miami you simply can’t win. If a red-eyed landscaper is buying a single blunt, a Big Gulp and a stack of junk food, he will mutter “Don’t you think you’ve smoked enough pot today?”

And this conversation took place yesterday.

Babu: So, where do you work, Dave?
Me: Down at [international megacorp’s identity redacted].
Babu: What do you do for them?
Me: I’m a writer.
Babu: What do you write?
Me: Advertising, mainly.
Babu: So, like publicity. And everything is a wonderful story!
Me: Yeah, that’s a good way to put it.
Babu: (laughing) So, I see. You are a hypocrite! And a liar!
Me: Thanks, Babu. I’m going to go kill myself now.

Olympics? We Have Other Games to Prepare For

John Madden, the former Oakland Raiders coach, sufferer of aerophobia, free agent for EA Sports, sometime pitchman for Verizon Wireless, Rent-A-Center, Miller Lite, Sirius Satellite Radio and Tinactin (and popular radio and television sports announcer), in association with the Southland Corporation, (dba 7-11), in association with Brett Favre, the Wrangler-endorsing former subsidiary of the Green Bay Packers, Inc. and now the property of the New York Jets, (a wholly owned property of Johnson & Johnson), in cooperation with the National Football League with assistance from PepsiCo, proudly announce the "Sack Madden Meal" at 7-11, which comes with a playable DVD demo of the popular Madden NFL game, updated with alarming regularity, by EA Sports.
EA Sports has quickly updated their website to include this image, reflecting yesterday’s sale of Favre to Johnson & Johnson. 7-11 is stuck with these old Favre in-store displays announcing the Madden/EA/7-11/Packers/Pepsi/NFL meal. But if Madden is endorsing a meal, you can bet it will fill your gut—and then some.

And I have two words for any Jets fans that think Favre might help their team: Joe Montana.