Delusions of Courtroom and Senate Victories

In addition to running for Senate, Ronnie is fighting a bitter custody battle against Nikkii, the mother of his youngest children, the twins Dakota and Dillon. He is convinced that the creation embedded below, using some of his niece's toys, will win the day in court. In Ronnie's words:

"This dude from Hotlanta made some badass music that I put on my custody video for the judge that will majorly seal my case solid as a airtight rock. No judge will be able to resist this it is so powerful now. It is very moving and will bring you to tears so watch out. Damn this is badass. If you want him to make music to put on your stuff just send him a note his name is fred leo and his site is fredleo.com"

The character develops. How far I haven't a clue. I may drop him like a rock tomorrow, deeming him too similar to Kenny Powers. One friend on Twitter suggested Ronnie had come out of character by playing with Barbies. But Ronnie will do anything to beat Nikkii, as evidenced by his heroically distorted retelling of that horrible Sunday morning.





Ronnie will be releasing some Senate campaign commercials outlining his positions, "As soon as these losers decide whos out and whos in so I can whip some ass and not mess around with the third string punks who will lose in round one."

Ravioli on The Grill

Ronnie the landscaper reveals that's it not all party-time, firecrackers and chasing chicks in his latest video. The character is getting dark, but you'd be too if one of the exes you're in a custody battle with showed up at the last minute with two of your six kids so she could go out with her new man in his "gay-ass, punked-out Monte Carlo."

Ronnie doesn't care much about production values, making his videos pretty simple to produce, but I may have to break down and buy the poor bastard a wireless mic.



Ronnie would like you to be his friend on Facebook. You may also follow him on Twitter. He will only stalk you if you're hot. Ronnie's definition of "hot" is pretty much defined by what he would do to get to know you. For instance, if you heard him say, "I'd suck the dick of the dog that pissed on the tire of the car that took her dirty underwear to the laundromat," you probably qualify as Super-Hot. And of course Ronnie has a blog where he expounds on subjects such as polygamy, tattoos, church, and tries to get Will Ferrell to co-star in his movie.

Ronnie says he is available for brand/product endorsements or for speaking to groups of students about "the importance of education or some shit."

Ronnie owes his existence to Humongo.

One of THOSE Movies

Before the reviews are in, I can already write the blurbs for the upcoming full-page ads.

"Jeff Bridges turns in the performance of a lifetime."
- Sycophant Critic, Major Publication

"Jeff Bridges was born for this role."
- Unknown Climber, Unknown FOX Affiliate

"Robert Duvall was born to play Jeff Bridges' dad."
- Some Loser, Robert Duvall Fan Club

"Roll out the red carpet! I smell Oscars!"
- Drooling Fanboy, Entertainment Blog

It's got everything: washed-up country singer, tough single mom reporter, Robert Duvall, and a story likely to warm your cold heart. Only thing is that I saw it already. It was called "Tender Mercies," starring Robert Duvall.



But all the snark and cynicism aside, I will likely rent it.

Shell Shock Spock

He's been reduced to a one-trick pony for most of his career, but here's Leonard Nimoy getting in some early drama practice on the set of some military training film dealing with the horrors of war.

When Life Gives You Community College...

College commercials are usually done on a standard template: multiracial students in lab coats looking in microscopes, sitting on lawns in pairs, laughing under a sunny sky, walking past a friendly professor, playing some intramural sport, reading in a library, engaged in a lively debate in a common room. They end with a generic message straight from the school's mission statement; something like "Challenging minds. Changing the world." (If you watched any bowl games over the holidays, they always show one per team, and they almost always suck.)

Here's a twisted college commercial. Granted, it's for a community college offering two-year degrees, but I have to give this local institution some credit (zing!) for breaking the mold. It's Bruno meets Dieter in a trying-real-hard-to-be-funny campaign that's been running for about a year. Orlando is full of aspiring (and disappointed actors), many of whom find employment at Disney, or they end up dressed as knights, serving patrons at some sad horse-themed dinner show. While I can't believe this guy got paid very much for his efforts, I'm sure it was more fun than saying, "Wouldst thou like more sweet tea, mi lady?"



After some quick research, the actor playing the fashion dude can be found here. I wonder if Germans and Austrians take offense at this common, comic depiction.

And they did a nice job of tying the website to the commercials. If this was all done in-house, all the better.

Yay, Memories

The award for Best Actress in a Comedy Commercial goes to this lady, playing "Nancy" in the latest AT&T "Didn't Get That Call" series. The series' premise is smart; people narrating a disastrous scene from their life that could've been avoided with AT&T. In this one, the notion of a bunch of 5-year-olds being terrorized by a giant dinosaur at a birthday party is hilarious. Nancy's reaction is just as funny. The radio ad with the same script is equally well-done.