Delusions of Courtroom and Senate Victories

In addition to running for Senate, Ronnie is fighting a bitter custody battle against Nikkii, the mother of his youngest children, the twins Dakota and Dillon. He is convinced that the creation embedded below, using some of his niece's toys, will win the day in court. In Ronnie's words:

"This dude from Hotlanta made some badass music that I put on my custody video for the judge that will majorly seal my case solid as a airtight rock. No judge will be able to resist this it is so powerful now. It is very moving and will bring you to tears so watch out. Damn this is badass. If you want him to make music to put on your stuff just send him a note his name is fred leo and his site is fredleo.com"

The character develops. How far I haven't a clue. I may drop him like a rock tomorrow, deeming him too similar to Kenny Powers. One friend on Twitter suggested Ronnie had come out of character by playing with Barbies. But Ronnie will do anything to beat Nikkii, as evidenced by his heroically distorted retelling of that horrible Sunday morning.





Ronnie will be releasing some Senate campaign commercials outlining his positions, "As soon as these losers decide whos out and whos in so I can whip some ass and not mess around with the third string punks who will lose in round one."

Clash of The Critics

No matter what movie you decide to see, some critics will love it and some will hate it. I saw Clash of the Titans a couple days ago at the supercheap theatre, you know the one, where films not yet on DVD but not in real theatres anymore are playing, where it only costs a dollar to get in and the refreshments aren't outrageously priced and the place is not so clean and maybe some of the theatres are having trouble with their air-conditioning and so maybe there's an ugly scratch in the film that persists throughout the whole duration, but hey, you paid a buck for a movie so what are you complaining about?

I generally rely on Rotten Tomatoes to give a good and widespread assessment of a movie before I go see it or rent it On Demand. I didn't this time. And I'm glad, 'cause at a 33% favorable rating, I might've missed some mindless summer afternoon fun. Definitely not Oscar-caliber, but what do you expect from a movie based on a movie from 1981?

Here's that snob Peter Travers from Rolling Stone:

"The film is a sham, with good actors going for the paycheck and using beards and heavy makeup to hide their shame."

But then here's Colin Covert of the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

"At the moment when Sam Worthington, trapped inside a giant scorpion, sword-hacked his way through the dorsal carapace and poked the upper half of his body through the opening as if it were a sunroof, I fell in love with Clash of the Titans."

Have you ever read a terrible review of your favorite band's new album and wanted to punch the critic in the face? Or saw a nasty write-up of one of your favorite restaurants by some nose-in-the-air food critic? The critics aren't right, they're just being critics. But sadly, they can doom a play, new CD, movie or dining establishment with a hastily slammed-out screed.  

It's fun to ignore the critics one in a while and just go have fun.

George Washington Knows How to Win Wars

Production values weren't much in 1789, but the message delivery was about the same as today. Paint the opposition as "soft on terror/crime/national defense" and you're halfway there.

Bill Green of Make the Logo Bigger and I have unearthed this rough-hewn gem from the George Washington campaign. It's a simple tale that unfolds like some flannelgraph Sunday School story, the basic theme of which is, "The Torries Won't Keep you Safe, My Friends."

Cell-Phone Photography Review

Since I know you've been waiting for more in my sporadic series featuring my stunning and thoughtful photographic studies of life in CubeWorld^TM , I present the latest print. It's called "Stay Hungry - Applesauce and Chopsticks #23."

From Cell Phone Photography Review Quarterly comes this assessment:

Jetpacks again defies reason, sense and taste by giving us another of his grainy, stupid cell-phone images. As if we didn't notice the "irony" of putting chopsticks in applesauce, the "photographer" has to title this "piece" to help us "get it." As for composition, lighting and texture, why even bother? When your subject matter is so inane, it's hard to care about the thing any further. Shite. Crap. Poop.

Hmmm. Jealous much, CPPRQ?

Plumber Overcomes Name - Builds Successful Business

Growing up, Frank endured the taunts of the schoolmates who made fun of his name. They'd call him "Stank" and "Crank" and "Spank" and "Wank" and "Skank."

Frank vowed as a young man, "I will show them I am not ashamed of my name. I will build a business and have the very name they mock on the side of many vans that will traverse the roads of Central Florida. They will see my name and they will RESPECT it."

I caught one of Frank's vehicles this morning on the way to work.

And those punks from school who used to mock Frank? Most of them are either dead or in jail. And when they get out of jail , Frank shows them no mercy. From Frank's About Us page: All of our technicians have had a criminal background check and wear official Frank Gay Plumbing Uniforms and they drive lettered vehicles.