Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Have You Eaten of the Tree, Whereof I Commanded You That You Should Not Eat?

If you can keep up with Apple, good for you. I sure can't. Can't afford to. But they are masters at force-feeding their devotees the next big thing. Nevermind that those of us who use it have discovered its many flaws, not the least of which is the partnership with AT&T. Doesn't matter though. It's sleek. It does cool things. It just feels so good in your hand. What will you pay for that feeling? Plenty. And you don't want to be left behind, do you? Like a junkie, you will get one. Can't get enough. And in a year, you will get the next one.

Below is a new email marketing effort from Apple. It's smug and arrogant, like Apple, and basically laughs in your face. The "This changes everything" line is so overused in tech advertising. So is "Again." as a standalone sentence. My take on it after that.

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  • I heard it brews coffee, freshens your breath, does windows and folds down smaller than a match book. Its a must have. Comes in assorted colors as well. Two colors.

    By Anonymous Howie, at June 8, 2010 at 6:03 PM  

  • It will also give you an orgasm, wipe your butt, and make you eggs in the morning along with that coffee. The models sold in England will also make beans, chips and toast with those eggs.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at June 8, 2010 at 8:14 PM  

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