That's a Big-Ass Country

Click this image for an obscenely massive version.

Or more aptly, a Humongo Nation.

The special-needs kids of Humongo (formerly known as Plaid) are at it again. This time the Eastern Seaboard is the target as the customized Ford Flex full of live bloggers, tweeters and videographers meets up with people they've only known virtually, demonstrating once again what social media is about.

Last summer they did some Central states. Summer before that they did the West Coast. And they kicked off this annual ritual in 2007 with a tour of I don't even remember, that was so long ago.

This time they start in Maine and make their way to Miami, stopping along the way to meet people and maybe land a client or ten. I intend to ambush them when they hit Daytona Beach, but since they already know what I look like from the last time I ambushed them, I'm going to have to be more clever.

Sponsors already lined up for the tour include Ford, Green Mountain Coffee, Sprint and Wingate by Wyndham. If they're coming to your town this time around, you really should get out and say, "Hi," just as Andy, James, Lori and bunch of others did on previous tours. If you don't already read Brand Flakes For Breakfast, you should do that, too. It's an agency blog, but unlike most agency blogs it doesn't just promote the agency. In fact, it rarely does that. What's more, it wasn't left to die two months after it was created, like most agency blogs.

Speaking of country, this is (entirely coincidentally) my 1776^th post. And just in time for the 4th of July weekend.

Full disclosure: I've done some freelancing for Humongo. Fuller disclosure: They gave me the shirt in the above picture in the hopes that I'd blog about the tour. I'd have done it without the shirt, but when they threw in an air-freshener and some buttons, I felt I owed 'em.

VW Won't Be Happy With Any Agency

In a cleverly crafted statement, Tim Ellis, VW's VP of Marketing, said,

"We are re-evaluating all areas of our business, and after careful considerations have decided to take the necessary steps to ensure we have the right agency partner in place."

In a nice gesture, the current agency was invited to defend their position. They politely said, "Um. Thanks. But fuck off."

What a tough gig for any agency, honestly. You will have a very lofty goal to meet, in that

"Volkswagen has embarked on a mission to significantly grow our business here in this market. Our goal of rapidly increasing our volume in a mature market requires the Volkswagen brand to evolve into a more relevant mainstream choice."

I like what CP+B did with VW. The talking old Beetle with the German accent was cute. The tag "Get Your Autobahn On" was inventive. And for my money, the "Un-pimp Your Ride" spots were awesome. You can't go wrong with the evil, eye-transplant doctor from "Minority Report" and a sexy assistant.

Now, feast your eyes on this image for a few seconds and then, stay with me.


I'm guessing CP+B's very noble attempts didn't sell Volkswagens. Not even Brooke Shields' ridiculous efforts to move the "Routan" helped. (What is it with these VW names?)

Gone are the days when VW had pricing on its side. VW no longer lives up to its brand's very translation: "The People's Car." It's now an overpriced near luxury line. If they want to be a "relevant mainstream choice," they're going to have to build another people's car. And I'm not talking about that re-issue of the Beetle. Bring back the real Beetle, with super-competitive pricing. (They were still making them as late as 2003 in Mexico, so all the tools are in place.)

Volkswagen is a far cry from, and secretly envy of, (in a German way) BMW, Porsche and Mercedes, who together fom the Holy Saxon Trinity of Awesome Bavarian Machinery. "The Three" have ruled the Austrian, Stuttgart-region's, Hyper-Engineered, Super-Deluxe, Custom-Luxury market since the end of the War to End All Wars. To the "Big Three of Germany," VW is a child; Hitler's failed experiment in Nationalistic Socialistic Capitalistic Materialistic Industrialistic Carmakerism. (Volkwagen's prettier step-sister, Audi, shares 4th billing.)

So, short of the Beetle. maybe VW re-issues the eternally cool van (some would call it a "bus") with Safari Windows^TM, pictured above. Or maybe, VW, you can get your much-revered "German Engineering^TM" reputation busy crafting an affordable electric vehicle.

"German" was about all CP+B could come up with. So, maybe VW should continue in that vein and live up to the hype. Kick The Big Three at their game, yo.

(And for the love of Phaëton, son of Helios, stop with the retarded naming tradition!)

Cute isn't going to fix VW. Neither will sexy. Whatever agency wins this account will be trying to defend it in two years, after Tim Ellis has been sacked and the new VP of Marketing is charged with the impossible task of "evolving the brand into a more relevant mainstream choice."

In other words: "VW needs to remake itself." And they do that by going all the way back to their ugly roots: a people's car.

I'm just telling you what most agencies won't, VW. If any of this resonates with you, consider this my pitch. I'll find an art director in short order. We'll redo how it's done.

Work with me here, People's Car.


The above ideas are copyrighted, henceforth, from this day, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Nine, and are therefore safe from theft or misapropriation by the VW People or Their Lawyers.

Marked herein by the timestamp of Google. Forever and ever and ever in digital eternity. Amen.

This is a Lot of Work for a Free T-Shirt

You know how when a band gets big, the people who followed their earlier tours get all bent out of shape, saying things like, "Oh, you don't have the bootleg video of the Portland show? I was there, man! You guys aren't real fans!" That's how I feel now as one of my favorite groups hits the road for the third year in a row. I covered their previous two tours and met up with them when they were down here in O-town on what they called a "working weekend." (Drawing pictures in a public park downtown is hardly working.) I've had the opportunity to work with them professionally and they are a fun bunch who don't give you a lot pf pushback. Or maybe they're just so good with their people skills that when they give you pushback you don't even realize it.


I'm talking, of course, about the mentally challenged children of Plaid, a not-for-profit ministry in downtown Danbury, Connecticut. Led by a former punk rocker who had a vision of providing shelter and guidance to wayward urchins who'd been turned out on the streets, Plaid seeks to bring hope and healing to a hurting world. And I believe that children are our future.

This time, the Plaidiators will focus on the central states, taking in Detroit, Milwaukee, Chicago, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Kansas City, Branson, Memphis, Jackson and New Orleans. I will follow with interest the Branson portion of their journey, as I have experience in that region, experience I don't like to talk about unless there is someone standing nearby ready to sedate me.

And this time, the Plaid Summer Tour is different. They have sponsors now. They even got their vehicle supplied by Ford. This time instead of a giant church van, they'll travel in a Ford Flex. That's really cool. And sponsorship means the swag will be better for the bloggers who took the time to write about the trip.

It's a mobile exercise in new biz development. This is no cold call journey. The Plaid people have it all planned out: seeing new places, maybe landing a client or two, meeting the friends from Twitter and blogs they've never actually met in person. If they're swinging through your town, you'd be well-advised to buy them a beer and hang out. Until they start kissing your cheek and rubbing your leg. Then it's time to go because the weird stuff is about to happen.

Follow along starting July 20th.

I'm ready for my swag now.

Have SWAG, Will Blog

I'm a cheap slut if you give me stuff.

I guess that really makes me a dirty whore, but the fine folks at Plaid sent me an email last week asking if I'd blog about their upcoming West Coast Tour in exchange for some Plaidness. Plaidness arrived today in the form of a lime green T and a cool little button, along with a nice card begging me to blog about them. So here we go.

In seriousness, I blog about Plaid because they are an agency getting it right. They did this last year, and it was a bizarre success. After their East Coast Tour, I shamelessly asked Darryl if he'd hire me on as Plaid's Southeast Doer of Whatever It Is I Do. Darryl graciously replied, "Dude. Uh. No."

Reason I'd gladly be a Plaid Head is that they're not claiming to be Web 2.0 Social Media Gurus - even though they are. They aren't claiming to understand all there is to know about traditional media - even though they do. They are innovators - in a traditional way. And like Advance out of Denmark, or Th!nk here in Orlando, they are doing the agency blog thing in a way that isn't ruthless corporate huckstering. Read Brand Flakes for Breakfast. You'll rarely find a self-promoting post in that entertaining and educational blog.

I mean seriously - who piles a bunch of media pros into a rented van covered in branded plaid stickers and outfitted with three video cameras and high-speed wi-fi to traverse the country in an effort to drum up business and draw attention to their efforts? They'll have live video, a Twitter feed, an ever-growing Flickr set and updates from not just themselves, but the people they meet along the way. That is unique, daring and smart. To top it all off, Uncle Bill is a part of it, doubling the cool factor.

It almost inspires me to be daring enough to wear this lime green T.

Keep an eye on the Plaid Tour and learn a thing or two about advertising, business development and customer service. It's not only an education, it's a fun, real-time summer diversion.

If they're heading to your town (Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, Redding, San Fran, San Luis Obispo, LA, San Diego, Vegas) get out and have a beer with them.

Richard Head - VP of Client Strategy

...or Director of New Business Development



Previously in "Richard Head"

Cross Country Barnstorm Begins

The Plaid Van has hit the road, and it looks like it'll be an interesting ride. Part new business development journey, part client service outing, part transparent opening-up to the advertising community, the notion of a 21-day half-country trek in a strange looking vehicle reminds me of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. They're having some technical difficulties, but all in all, it seems to be moving along fairly successfully. The ride looks a little bouncy, but that van is huge, with plenty of room to stretch out and blog the journey.

And if I've done my research correctly, I might have an image here of Bill Green of Make the Logo Bigger. Can't be sure until he shows up here to comment. In fact, he might be commenting right here in this picture, as Bill is the holder of the Most Prolific Poster and Commenter Cup two years running. He's not exactly a Weinermobile babe, but he sports a well groomed dome. (It's always interesting the first time you see a radio host you've listened to for a while. Same applies to bloggers who've remained visually anonymous for a while.)

I will be curious to find out what sort of new biz was hatched from this trip and how the expense vs. results of the trip might compare to the ROI of say, a brand summit, a webinar or a speaking engagement. (Did I just say, "ROI?" I'm sorry for that. Really.)