Got Milk? Time for the Sacred Cow to Die

It had its run, but it's been running since 1993. Lauded industry-wide, showered with awards and copied in countless, pointless, stupid parodies, the "got milk?" campaign from Goodby Silverstein & Partners is done. In it's original incarnation, the line was asked after someone was eating something that went well with milk. That made total sense. It has since morphed into a celebrity milk-mustache poster that reinforces the benefits of drinking milk. I say it's time to just get back to pairing milk with items that go very well with milk. You aren't drinking a glass of milk with a fruit salad. You aren't drinking a glass of milk after you work out. Please. It's not a diet food. It's not a refresher. It's milk, damnit. (And speaking of cow-themed campaigns that are way over, can someone please tell Chik-Fil-A's agency that the "Eat mor Chikin" thing is DONE.) And since the true measure of success for advertising is, "Did it sell more product?" the "Got Milk?" campaign should've been retired years ago. According to Wikipedia, "The campaign has been credited with greatly increasing milk sales in California, though not nationwide."

You don't need a clever tagline for milk. Milk is milk. It goes great with some things. So here are some posters I accidentally came up with when I downloaded a weird food font that had a piece of cake as one of the characters. This goes back to the original concept of the campaign, only even more straightforward than before. It's not a question. It's a statement of fact. Milk. Period.

And the next real estate agent who has "Got a Realtor?" as their slogan should be shot. And if you have a bumper sticker that asks me if I "Got Jesus?" I'm going to throw milk on your car.

Hippies in the Suburbs Eating Lunch Meat

While I like the concept of the couple not happy with their neighbor's overgrown place and the comic tension of the scene, something misses with this Hormel ad. I like the pacing, the dialog, the acting, even the silly punchline of the natural and naked wife in her yard. The spot makes you smile slightly, keeping you interested, until they shift gears and hit you with the pitch voiced by perky girl reading odd copy.

The corporate tag at the end is trying too hard and failing, stuck on at the close in what feels like a template designed by a meddling CMO. "Life. Better Served." Seriously? LIFE? Better Served? Kind of a heavy-handed message to be coming from lunch meat.

Yes We Can Again

If it Ain't Broke...

When a slogan works, there's no sense in changing it. I don't see President Obama deviating much from his winning formula when he runs for re-election in 2012 against whomever the Republicans put up. Romney, Palin, Jindal, Huckabee or some as-yet-unknown will be up against a juggernaut of a brand that got its start with this ad.

Here's a younger, not-as-gray Obama in 2004, running for Senate on the slogan, "Yes We Can." A David Axelrod production, pre cool logo.

Set Phrases on Stun

Charles Blow has a great piece in today's New York Times blasting Obama for forgetting that politics, like advertising (same thing) is about slogans and gimmicks. He cites McCain's "Drill Here Drill Now" mantra as an effective example of how to jump ahead in the polls, "Because it was concise, catchy and positive."

Regardless of the fact that McCain's "Drill Here Drill Now" was invented by Newt Gingrich and then championed by Sean Hannity until it became McCain's, Blow is right. Obama is going to sink like a rock if he keeps up his professorial put-em-to-sleep stuff. Sadly, he had to go that route because the opposition was accusing him of being nothing but lofty words. Now that he's proven he can think and reason like a bright, clean and articulate guy, it's time to go back to lofty words.

Americans are stupid. We need gimmicks and junk, catchphrases and bullshit before we buy. "Drill Here Drill Now" is proof of this. I even saw a bumper sticker with the phrase this week. It's a phony policy that won't do a thing to make us "energy independent." But America believes it will. If you say it often and if you say it loud it becomes truth. Top it off with the House of Representatives stunt with all the "rogue" lawmakers demanding a Drill Here Drill Now vote and you've got a movement. While it is stupid to neglect Alaska's oil in the interest of saving some frickin' caribou - who are migratory! They'll MOVE! - most experts agree that all the oil in Alaska will make a very minor dent in our national consumption.

I thought Axelrod was a marketing genius, but he's losing his touch. It's already time for Obama to rebrand.

Slap a Slogan on a Logo and Let's Roll

As political ads go, it's got better production values than most. What stands out is the not so subtle slogan Senator McCain has affixed above his name (that is not so subtly adorned with a military star).


Better still: "The other guy is a friend of terrorists and would actually TALK to that crazy fucker in Iran who says the Holocaust didn't happen. Did I mention I was a prisoner of war?"

Sadly, this little line, "Putting country first" will be on the lips of all the talk-show drones and spilling from the keyboards of blog commenters as they parrot in defense of their candidate, "McCain will put America first!" Expect to hear Hannity, Buchanan and Coulter using this very line by tomorrow.

That would be like me urging you to drink a Corona by saying, "Who cares if you don't like it, man! It's Miles Away From Ordinary!" Or if I wanted you to join the Army and I said, "You seem to me the type who could be Army Strong." (Last year I'd have told you, "Don't you want to be an Army of One?" At which point you'd look at me and say, "Uh, no. I'd prefer an army where I had comrades and friends and people watching my back.")

These are slogans. We use them because they work, not because they mean a damn thing. And we change them when they don't work. This one will work for McCain.

And in fairness to McCain, Obama's slogan means even less: "Change We Can Believe In." Huh? Whatever, Barry. But it's working.

I will have to do a piece soon on the logos of the two candidates, because they are even more meaningless, but probably have even more sway on the idiot populace.

NASA: Good for Something After All

NASA was looking for a new slogan awhile back. I think I have one for them:

No One Does Pictures of The Moon Like Us.














Tried to get outside in time for the sonic boom and maybe catch a glimpse of the shuttle coming back to earth today. Missed out on both counts.

NASA: Space is Fun, Dangerous and Expensive™

And all this science I don't understand.

There's an internal memo that was released by NASA circulating the Internet regarding the space agency's current slogan, "Explore, Discover, Understand." Seems they want something catchier. So far, the suits from DC have come up with "NASA explores for answers that power our future." Mmmm. Just GRABS ya, doesn't it?

A bunch of bloggers have already put on their creative helmets and are trying to help NASA come up with something better. Go there and vote, or submit your own. It ain't an easy assignment. So far, I've come up with "Mars Ain't The Kinda Place to Raise your Kids."

Maybe while you're thinking of a catchy space slogan, you can update that "Atomic Age" logo of theirs, too.