Yes We Can Again

If it Ain't Broke...

When a slogan works, there's no sense in changing it. I don't see President Obama deviating much from his winning formula when he runs for re-election in 2012 against whomever the Republicans put up. Romney, Palin, Jindal, Huckabee or some as-yet-unknown will be up against a juggernaut of a brand that got its start with this ad.

Here's a younger, not-as-gray Obama in 2004, running for Senate on the slogan, "Yes We Can." A David Axelrod production, pre cool logo.

Idiocracy & Caribou Barbie

The term "Caribou Barbie" (in quotes) searched on Google nets 15,300 results. That sure didn't take long.

Nevermind that she took little Wasilla, Alaska from a debt-free city to $19 million in debt in her short term, the Rove Machine is selling her as a "fiscal conservative."

Say what you will about the manufacture of Obama, how he is a creation of the Axelrod marketing machine. I have said so much myself. But what we see happening right now is surreal. A total unknown (about whom much more is becoming known) is being sold to the American voting public as a "revolution." Energize that base, "Base" being an excellent synonym for "totally base."

While Mrs. Palin is hiding from the media and learning foreign policy from Joe Lieberman, Obama's star is fading in the afterglow of America's initial introduction to Caribou Barbie and her one speech, written by Bush's speech writers and delivered artfully by the former sportscaster. A quick study, Mrs. Palin will emerge from hiding and dupe millions into thinking that she is a thoughtful, experienced and poised leader, ready to assume the office of President of the United States tomorrow.

If this country elects McCain, (who has sadly been eclipsed by his running mate) we are much closer to Idiocracy than I thought. But I have every expectation that my brain-dead countrymen will do just that.

Now might be a good time to watch that movie.

Set Phrases on Stun

Charles Blow has a great piece in today's New York Times blasting Obama for forgetting that politics, like advertising (same thing) is about slogans and gimmicks. He cites McCain's "Drill Here Drill Now" mantra as an effective example of how to jump ahead in the polls, "Because it was concise, catchy and positive."

Regardless of the fact that McCain's "Drill Here Drill Now" was invented by Newt Gingrich and then championed by Sean Hannity until it became McCain's, Blow is right. Obama is going to sink like a rock if he keeps up his professorial put-em-to-sleep stuff. Sadly, he had to go that route because the opposition was accusing him of being nothing but lofty words. Now that he's proven he can think and reason like a bright, clean and articulate guy, it's time to go back to lofty words.

Americans are stupid. We need gimmicks and junk, catchphrases and bullshit before we buy. "Drill Here Drill Now" is proof of this. I even saw a bumper sticker with the phrase this week. It's a phony policy that won't do a thing to make us "energy independent." But America believes it will. If you say it often and if you say it loud it becomes truth. Top it off with the House of Representatives stunt with all the "rogue" lawmakers demanding a Drill Here Drill Now vote and you've got a movement. While it is stupid to neglect Alaska's oil in the interest of saving some frickin' caribou - who are migratory! They'll MOVE! - most experts agree that all the oil in Alaska will make a very minor dent in our national consumption.

I thought Axelrod was a marketing genius, but he's losing his touch. It's already time for Obama to rebrand.

Campaign Posters from the Other Side

The political short-order cooks are working double shifts of late, sweating in the kitchen as they turn this election season into a vomitorium of bad taste, unseemly innuendo and blatant lies. Throw in a little Sean Hannity, a dash of "Take America Back for God," and a pinch of leftover 60s radicalism and you've got the makings for a really foul smelling melting pot. What we've been served is a big steaming platter of political junk food, free of nutrients and loaded with crap. "Eat up, kids! Clean your plates! You know, there are people in Africa starving for democracy."

So why fight it anymore? I'm going to join the fray.

Imagine if we let Karl Rove create posters for Obama. Or what if we let David Axelrod create posters for McCain? They'd probably look something like these. (Click for larger versions.)

Bahamas Changes Name

(NASSAU) The government of The Bahamas today announced the official name change of the country to The Commonwealth of the Obamas. The change will take place immediately and will be reflected in all official government operations, to include embassy locations worldwide.

Working closely with the Bahamian Tourism Board, government officials acted quickly to make the change after viewing the new will.i.am Obama video.

"We voted on this in a hastily called assembly of Parliament," said Prime Minister Hubert A. Ingraham, "and the decision was unanimous."

"It is clear to us that Obama is some special kind of politician, maybe even God made flesh," said a tourism official, "and we are only the first country or region to pay homage to him with a name change."

Reports indicate that the state of Oklahoma is considering a resolution to rename their state Oklabama and that Alabama is entertaining a name change to Olabama.

Obama campaign officials, while pleased, are downplaying the Messianic undertones.

"Barack only walks on water and heals the sick," said David Axelrod, chief strategist for Obama, "He has never raised the dead or turned water into wine. Yet."

Axelrod quickly pointed out that 25 states have a city or town named Clinton and that there are many counties in the United States with the name Clinton.

"That is clearly an unfair advantage that I think the Clinton campaign needs to address," said Axelrod, "We see no problem with a sovereign nation exercising its freewill to rename their country to reflect the momentum of our candidate."

Particularly hurtful to the Clintons is the fact that they have taken many vacations to the islands. Pressed for comment, a visibly shaken and red-faced former President Bill Clinton scolded, "Shame on you! Shame on you, Bahamas."