Ravioli on The Grill

Ronnie the landscaper reveals that's it not all party-time, firecrackers and chasing chicks in his latest video. The character is getting dark, but you'd be too if one of the exes you're in a custody battle with showed up at the last minute with two of your six kids so she could go out with her new man in his "gay-ass, punked-out Monte Carlo."

Ronnie doesn't care much about production values, making his videos pretty simple to produce, but I may have to break down and buy the poor bastard a wireless mic.



Ronnie would like you to be his friend on Facebook. You may also follow him on Twitter. He will only stalk you if you're hot. Ronnie's definition of "hot" is pretty much defined by what he would do to get to know you. For instance, if you heard him say, "I'd suck the dick of the dog that pissed on the tire of the car that took her dirty underwear to the laundromat," you probably qualify as Super-Hot. And of course Ronnie has a blog where he expounds on subjects such as polygamy, tattoos, church, and tries to get Will Ferrell to co-star in his movie.

Ronnie says he is available for brand/product endorsements or for speaking to groups of students about "the importance of education or some shit."

Ronnie owes his existence to Humongo.

Presenting: "Where's My Jetpack?" The Song and The Video

Or: Unemployment Will Make a Man do Weird Things, Part III.

I've put together a song - and a video to go along with it, and I really like how they both turned out. (You're free not to.) It's called, not surprisingly, "Where's My Jetpack?" I went ahead and created a jetpack of sorts for this video. Don't try this at home. Or do. It was a load of fun.

Much thanks go to the phenomenally talented Professor Fred Leo, musician extraordinaire, for his expert advice during the creation of the audio track.


Enjoy...or don't.

Where's My Jetpack? from Radio Free Babylon on Vimeo.

Using the Facebook Vimeo embed here since the sound quality of YouTube leaves much to be desired.

Also, any perceived homage to ancient rockers from Boston is entirely intentional. Best to turn it up loud.  

Antique Rocker: Needs Refinishing

Having failed to pen a decent hit in decades, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith has checked himself into rehab - again - in the hopes that sobriety might find him able to regain his once prolific abilities. The singer has stated that addiction to prescription painkillers is his current problem.

“With the help of my family and team of medical professionals, I am taking responsibility for the management of my pain and am eager to be back on the stage and in the recording studio with my band mates,” the 61-year-old Tyler said in a statement.

Some medical professionals are urging caution, saying that if Tyler ever hopes to be relevant again, he might consider what helped him in his heyday.

"If you take an album like 'Rocks,' or 'Toys in the Attic,' you find Tyler at his most creative," said Dr. Lex Leather, a specialist in the management of addictions at UCLA and a rock history professor at West Covina Community College. "During that time, Tyler was using heroin, cocaine and he was drinking daily. A couple years later, we find his skills have diminished on 'Draw the Line' and 'Night in the Ruts.' So, by this time he was abusing, instead of just using. Clearly what Steven needs to do is get back to heroin, cocaine and alcohol, but under supervision from a professional."

Leather continues, "When he's sober, Tyler writes stuff that is more suited to Whitney Houston or Andy Williams. It's not good, and to see talent like his wasted is a sad thing."

Others say the old rocker just needs to hang it up.

"It's embarrassing as all fuck," said one industry insider with ties to the band, "Skin-tight pants on a grandpa as he thrusts his crotch at a crowd? That would get most old men arrested."

Determined not to be cast to the pages of history, the rest of the band are supporting Tyler in his effort to get clean.

"Look," said guitarist Brad Whitford, "I'm not going to play the state fair circuit with REO Speedwagon and Loverboy. Once you've done a huge arena, a rodeo is a giant buzz kill. And if we have to perform recycled schlock rock from a team of LA songwriters, then so be it."

MOST OF THE PEOPLE QUOTED IN THIS ARTICLE DID NOT SAY THE THINGS ATTRIBUTED TO THEM, IF THOSE PEOPLE EVEN EXIST. I KID BECAUSE I CARE. DRUG AND ALCOHOL ADDICTION ARE NO LAUGHING MATTER, BUT A LITTLE HIT OF WEED AND A BEER CAN SOMETIMES BE THE IMPETUS FOR A GREAT SONG. UNDER MEDICAL SUPERVISION, OF COURSE.

You're Gonna Wanna Be Paht of This Amazing Journey

Looks like a bunch of highly skilled people in Central Florida will be out of work soon when the Space Shuttle program reaches its end in 2010.

So, with that sad news, let's watch a Wicked Re-TAH-ded* PSA for NASA (obviously produced in-house) featuring Steven Tyler and Joe Perry of Aerosmith, urging duh yutes to stay in school and not try to become rock stars. The production on this proves that sometimes even the brightest minds have no business messing with the creative side.



*See comments on previous post.

Previously in NASA
Good for Something After All
NASA Needs a Slogan
Lisa Nowak - The Reason I'm Late from Lunch
In Space, No One Can Hear You Pee
The Games Astronauts Play
Buy an Astronaut a Drink
Rocket to the Moon and Race Right Back
Astronaughties

Previously in PSAs
SoCal Burning
Weekend Water Safety Warning
Fried For a Frisbee
Your Girlfriend Has an STD
When Snowmen Go Bad

Previously in Aerosmith
NASCAR Set to Rock