Swan Dive! (Into the Best Night of Your Life)

Bill says, "I’m not sure if the formula where you plug different scenarios in is going to get old too fast." Well, it might, but not yet, as this brilliant production proves.

What I love about how Old Spice is treating the tired old "Guys get laid when they wear this" formula is that they're doing it completely and unashamedly tongue-in-cheek, without showing a guy involved in a random threesome, a la Axe Body Wash. Just a smug and super-confident lady's man who could easily be an SNL character.

Giving a Literal Meaning to the Term "Meat Market"

"Who's that sweaty guy who smells like a flame-broiled burger?"

or "Is that a Whopper in your pants, or are you just a stinky idiot."

I know CP+B is behind this new meat-scented body spray somehow. Here's the story from the Telegraph. Here's the site from BK.

Genius and retarded all at once. I'll bet it sells well this season, if for no other reason than as a gag gift.

Lather, Rinse, Get Laid

Bigmaker

Cut To The Chase

I've had it with all these male body spray / cologne ads that have for years suggested a little dab results in hot action. (See previous post.)

So I'm offering to sell a new line of body spray to any manufacturer willing to quit with the barely veiled innuendo and just tell it like it is. (Or rather, like they suggest it is.) Right up front, the name of the product will hold the promise that the wearer should ready himself for spontaneous stripping by hordes of beautiful women, who will beat one another for the honor of a moment of passion with him. We will, of course, as all the other colognes do, suggest that the women can stop bickering and simply share him, two or three at a time.

We'll worry about the actual fragrance later. Branding and Packaging always come first. With this name alone, we will make a serious impact on the body spray market.

The pirate image is guaranteed marketing gold. Chicks dig pirates, and boys buying this (or getting their moms to buy it for them) will fancy themselves dashing and dangerous rogues.

We'll make a killing.

I'm serious.