In the Coming Race Wars

OK, I admit it: I've been obsessing since discovering Xtranormal. I don't know where I was when this free tool was announced back in the first quarter of the year, but the thing has potential. There's something about the deadpan delivery of a flat, computer voice that makes the dialog more fun. This is a great little tool, and I'm not being paid to say this. I'm amazed by the ease of the technology. It's like they say in their tagline: "If you can type, you can make movies." You have to drag some pauses into the dialog and find body expressions (and you may have to misspell some words to make them semi-coherent and audible), but if I can do it...

I think Flash designers are the next skilled pros who might find themselves automated out of a job, going the way of the encyclopedia salesman, travel agent - and most of the rest of us. With some refining, banners will be made with this thing. And this is how storyboards will be created soon; point and click, with the client coming to us armed with her frame-by-frame idea for a commercial. "And here's where my daughter walks into the scene and announces, 'You've tried the rest...'"

My latest juvenile creation: John and Chuck addressing some current stupidity in these Untied States of America, on this First day of October, in the Year of Our Lord, Two-Thousand and Nine. (At Nine O'Clock in the evening.)



Crossposted to Radio Free Babylon.

Fair and Balanced

I like to keep an ear to both sides of the politically biased reporting. I listen to right wing radio to and from work. (Finding a left wing radio show in this market is very hard unless you have XM.) I go to crazy leftist sites like Huffington Post and 23/6, and I check in on the equally partisan Red State, Free Republic and Town Hall. In the evening, I like to switch around and get a dose of Matthews and Olbermann along with Hannity and O'Reilly.

And of all the places I have the option to listen to or participate in, the ones that squawk the most about bias are the right wingers. Daily they decry the unbalanced reporting of "the mainstream media" and those who are "in the tank." They act as though they are broadcasting on pirate wavelengths or short wave. They have a siege mentality that belies their stated objectivity. They thrive on the "us against them" game. They are haters and dividers.

Sean Hannity just renewed a multi-million dollar, multi-year deal with Fox. Limbaugh did the same with his affiliates. Apparently, they have a huge audience. But if any of their fellow broadcasters or columnists dare to say a nice thing about the other side, they are instantly shunned and treated as traitors.

There are just as many right wing, utterly biased sources for news and commentary as there are left. Quit yer bitchin', ya big babies. If I want to hear people getting a thrill up their leg for Obama, I know where to go. If I want to hear a bunch of old limp dicks who suddenly got boners for Sarah Palin, I know where to find that as well.

There are two mediums in America now. They are equal. Give yourself some credit, right wingers. You built Fox and revived AM radio and now your people have a place to go if they want one-sided attack journalism. You ARE mainstream. To act as though you are "outsiders" is disingenuous at best.

If I want truly non-partisan, fair and balanced coverage, I know where to go: CSPAN.

Super Tuesday Drinking Game

If you participate in this game, it'd be a good idea to make sure you can take Wednesday off.

Tune your TV to MSNBC and do a shot every time:

McCain says “Follow Bin Laden to the gates of hell”

Obama says “They’ve gone through my kindergarten papers”

Huckabee says “I’m in this to the end”

Romney says “People are starting to understand”

Clinton points, cackles or says “Experience”

Chris Matthews does his double honk laugh

Olbermann does his sarcastic stare

The Difference Between You and Keith Olbermann

...is that you are probably a decent, tolerable, tolerant person who doesn't pretend to walk on water, nor do you think you are the country's King Maker. Also, your hair is not pin-striped.

From Wikipedia: A pundit is someone who offers mass-media opinion, analysis or commentary on a particular subject area (most typically political analysis, the social sciences or sport), on which they are presumed to be knowledgeable. As the term has been increasingly applied to popular media personalities lacking special expertise, however, it can be used in a derogative manner. Pundit is also a slang term for politically biased people pretending to be neutral.

And for the last time, America, they're called punDITS, not punDINTS.

Pundits are nothing more than glorified bloggers who get paid. They also have whiter teeth. I recently heard Chris Matthews (hawking a book on CSPAN's "Book Notes") speak disparagingly of bloggers. He maintained that bloggers aren't bold like those in his profession, who are out there in the trenches doing battle face-to-face with people they oppose. He suggested that bloggers can hide in anonymity and toss bombs while pundits might run into their victims in the corridors of power and therefore have an obligation to maintain civility in their criticisms. Which I guess is why they say things like, "My good friend Senator Jones is a big, fat lying sack of crap."

The comments section has always been open here, Chris - you glorified blogger.

And the pundits have proven they don't know any more than bloggers this year.

Surveys Show That Polls Are Stupid

We can't get through a day here in the US without a new poll suggesting which of the candidates is one point in front of the other. And from there, the poll results become news for two days with all the talking heads interviewing one another, asking, "What do you think it means? Did Romney's speech help him, hurt him? Is Huckabee a criminal loving rapist enabler? Is the Oprah factor hurting Hillary?" And the talking heads are trying to be Kingmakers, influencing the stories to benefit whichever candidate they like at the moment. I want to put Sean Hannity, Ariana Huffington, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews and Rush Limbaugh in a small locked room with no windows. And come back and check on them in a month.

Here's all you have to do to get a gauge of how Americans are thinking. (At least those who use YouTube.) Type a candidate's name in the search field and then type another. I just did this. My survey says that 4 out of 5 Americans view Hillary Clinton negatively. The same survey showed 4 out of 5 Americans view Barack Obama positively.

There. Done.