We Escaped The Oil Spill, So IN YOUR FACE, Louisiana!

In the game of vacation destination advertising, you take every advantage you can get, even if that means you have to kick another destination when it's down. And covered in thick, black goop.
 
All over the West Coast of Florida, tourism boards are trying to convince travelers that, "There ain't no oil here!" Fort Myers / Sanibel made a nice effort with your standardly glib host riffing as he walks along the beach. This was "Day One" of their 9-day "Still Pristine" effort to woo the Gulf-visiting vacationer. They even did a "behind the scenes!" video, where the producer explains that "this has never been done before in the history of television!"



I heard a radio spot where a very, very sad sounding female voiceover said that, "Our hearts go out to the victims of the Gulf oil spill." Then she very smoothly transitioned into beach pitch-lady and offered to show you her very unaffected beaches. I'm about sick of the "Our hearts go out to," line. Much like, "Our thoughts and prayers go out to..." it's complete bullshit. It means simply, "Hey, sucks to be you!" (I hate it so much that it's a recurring, minor theme in my unpublished book. Literary agents, ping me.)

Granted, no one is out-and-out saying, "Our beaches are better than theirs," but the implication is there. So if you do vacation on the beaches of Fort Myers/ Sanibel, be a good sport and raise a glass one beautiful evening to the poor saps up the coast who didn't fare so well.

Ass Kicker in Chief

Our Good Friends, the House of Saud

A country based on Sharia law. An Islamic monarchy. A country where women can not vote. A country where there are no opposition parties. A country whose inhabitants are 100% Muslim, and a country where preaching anything other than Islam is punishable by death. (Facts all found here.)

Let's forget about all those things. Advertising is about how to spin your service or product for the good. They put together a pretty ad that makes them seem like a progressive and cool place to do business.

Crossposted to Radio Free Babylon.

Oil, War, Taxes, Environment, Religion and Other Points of Debate

We can bark at each other until we're blue in the face, restating our rehearsed talking points with fake civility to the point that they become mere bumper stickers. Politics is now PR, and if you repeat a slogan long enough and loud enough, people start to pick it up and believe it.

You hate me and I hate you. You're a deluded fool and I'm a mindless drone. You're stupid and I'm dumb.

But I think there's one thing we can both agree on: Johnny Cash had a cool voice, even when working for American Oil (aka Amoco) now a part of BP (Formerly known as British Petroleum, now using the eco-friendly "Beyond Petroleum.")

Oil ? That's Just Part of Our Name

Whether it's BP, Shell, Chevron, Exxon or Mobil, they've all adopted the "we're trying so damn hard not to be in the oil business" approach. It's getting tired and it rings very hollow. I'd like to see someone break this mold and stop sucking up to the shifting winds of the fickle public. We know what you do. Quit hiding.

Just come out and say it, "Hey! You drive a car? You fly on planes? You like your home warm in winter? Then you can thank us, 'cause we've got you by the balls!"

No. 18 in the series "Where's My Jetpack?" the advertising comic that sometimes strays from being about advertising.







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On a related note, this guy is something of a local hero: A 70-year-old Winter Haven man was arrested Tuesday, accused of stealing thousands of gallons of gasoline from gas stations in Polk County and elsewhere in Central Florida, according to the Polk County Sheriff's Office. Read the full story>>>