Friday, July 10, 2009

Put Her in the Backseat and Drive Her To Tennessee

Just got back from Tennessee, where I wish I was still. I can't say I missed blogging for one minute. Here's a shot taken during what photographer Ross Halfin calls "God's Light" one evening. Not a single thing was done to this image in Photoshop. Straight from the camera to here. (Click it for the big, screensaver version, free of charge. Hurry while supplies last.)


I'm so enamored of Tennessee, I even love their state flag. Understated, tasteful.


We didn't watch TV for a week, only checked Internet for emergency work emails and only on the computer that had a barely passable connection via Verizon. AT&T was out, as was Sprint. No cell phone service. We just hung out on a porch in the woods in the north central mountains of the state, went swimming and boating (Where's My Jetski?) in a lake and had three great meals a day, no between-meal snacks.

And yes, I've posted this cringe-inducing video before, but it's always worth a second look, especially since Prince sings about Tennessee. In that funky Prince way.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Just Say No to Texting at Lunch

Your lack of social graces is embarrassing.
Put it in your pocket or purse, please.

Handstands in Germany. Dave and KatieEveryone I know has some form of smart phone. I'm still stuck in 2005 with my little Motorola phone that...wait for it...makes and receives phone calls. (And also takes pictures and sends and receives texts. I can even update to Twitter and Facebook on it, but that's not good enough!)

Verizon and AT&T and Sprint and who knows who else are all bent on convincing me that I need their EXCLUSIVE Blackberry. (They all have an EXCLUSIVE Blackberry.) Forget about the iPhone. Apple is bent on convincing me that the future has come and gone and I've been left on the communications tarmac, like the last man on earth who missed the last flight to the moon as the coming apocalypse is about to blow my technologically-retarded ass away. But I'm not sure I want to go the smart phone route. Most people I know who own these things can't stop sending emails at meetings and meals or holding the device while they're driving, going, "Look, that little circle on the map is us! And it shows where we are! Is that cool, or what?" They didn't nickname it Crackberry for nothing.

OK, truth is I'm jealous. I could probably get a lot more done with a cool phone. And when I get one, I'm almost convinced that it will be an EXCLUSIVE Blackberry deal from AT&T.

All that to introduce this: a pretty funny commercial, well-written, well-produced from some carrier offering an EXCLUSIVE Blackberry deal.

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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

This Year I Resolve To...

Do more for the environment ... by tossing Yellow Pages into the recycle bin as soon as they land in the driveway.

This handsome three volume set arrived on New Year's Day from Embarq, formerly Sprint, formerly who knows what else. Embarq is using a very weak campaign featuring "Dex," a nerdy know-it-all. In the radio ads, Dex surprises dumb husbands when their wives say, "Ask Dex" in response to their inane queries about dry cleaners, Chinese food or movie theatres. Dex is hiding in the cabinet, spouting out distances, hours and phone numbers.

Nevermind that Dex is hiding in the cabinet, he's a harmless geek. He's just here to help. Not sure if Embarq is doing any TV, but the campaign would be better if the men showed some sort of jealousy at finding a man living in the house, to which the ladies could respond, "He's just a friend," or "He's like a brother to me."

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Sunday, December 16, 2007

Hey Now

I approve. Two compound words, two syllables each. Message conveyed.

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Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Revolution Hasn't Happened Yet

AT&T, Sprint, Verizon: they all talk about "Now headquarters is wherever YOU are." They show the busy business people on the bus, at the golf course, in the airport, at the restaurant - all around the world, spreading the word - getting business done by laptop, mobile device and brain implant transponder.

But still - telecommuting is slow to take off. Why? Lots of reasons, but the biggest I suspect, is trust. Or rather, distrust. If your colleagues can't see you, they assume you're goofing off. Well, at least the dishonest ones assume that - because that's what they'd do if they worked from home.

I worked well from home when it was an option. Not so well on a mobile device or from the golf course (never touched a club in my life) but as long as I've got my high-speed connection here at the casa or on my laptop, what's it matter where I am? I can shoot an email to you just as fast from here as if I were down the hall in a cubicle. Sure, we can't have a face-to-face brainstorming session, but you drink your coffee, I'll load up here, then we can get on the phone and toss some ideas back and forth. If we really got smart and invested a couple hundred bucks, we could set up cameras, then you could watch me and make sure I'm working, or we could have that face-to-face brainstorming session via cable. We can put on the headsets and talk over Skype. Without a commute, my workday started at 7 AM. I can put in more hours at home than I can in an office. And I'll be honest; in those hours I might climb on my bike and take a couple mile journey just to get out and clear my head. But how is that any different than taking my lunch break to work out in the company gym? Did I meet my deadlines? Was the client happy? So, what's your problem?

The cubicle was meant for animals. It’s a kennel. The cubicle was meant for robots and slaves.

Who is the evil genius responsible for this design and who are the salesmen who sold it? Who are the corporate heads that bought into it and why are they still in power? When we find these people, we need to send them off to some sort of camp, along with the purveyors of florescent lights, the builders of time clocks and sellers of the software that does the job of a time clock. Let's also get the people who invented the magnetic company badge that opens the door to your highly classified workplace. We'll put them all out in the middle of nowhere where they won’t disable the creativity of the American worker anymore. Put them in cubicles with fluorescent lighting and make them clock out when they want a drink or a smoke or they need to take a leak. Treat them like animals, cattle, robots. Give them “benefits” that they can’t walk away from. Health, dental, 401K.

Employers can’t trust their cattle to work from home.The employer and manager require dictatorial control and micromanaging of tasks. They need to have meetings about meetings in preparation for the meeting, where they will present a Powerpoint deck about the upcoming meeting. They want dress codes and time clocks. A few have started what they think is a revolution: they've set up teepees and canoes in which they hold meetings. Or maybe they call them pow-wows. Quaint. Cute.

How to sell this notion of telecommuting to the powers that be? Here's something they can understand: drag into this conversation America's favorite worry-du-jour: Global warming. Let's make all these talkers and squawkers prove they really care. Employers could save millions on scaling down their office space, taking advantage of the technology that is available to them right now. We can give employers willing to take part in a telecommuting plan special government incentives, as they will also be contributing to a national traffic solution and "keeping our planet clean for the children of the future." (Choke back the tears, corporate spokeswoman.) Traffic is out of hand in most American cities, and most of it is due to throngs of office workers reporting for cattle call. Gas prices, carbon emissions, etc, etc.

Employers are always dreaming up new ways to make their employees happier. So they invest thousands in the company gym that no one uses, or they offer you Snapple, foosball, corporate daycare and ergonomic keyboards. Save the money. Let your people work from home. That would make many of them happy, and likely more productive. Here's a neat benefit: no more sick days. Unless someone's dying, they can get their ass out of bed and over to the computer to make sure the report they promised by 11:00 AM is where it needs to be.

Many jobs just can't be done remotely - retail, factory, education - but millions can. And while some people enjoy the social environment and interaction of an office, many of us don't. For those who don't, options are available now that would enable us to produce quality work, no matter where we are. Just ask AT&T, Sprint or Verizon.

But it's not going to be a reality anytime soon. You just can't be trusted to do your job out of sight of your corporate masters.

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Big Idea - no CGI

Hate being late to the game, but I just saw this last night on Comedy Central during Colbert (I think). I love the notion of innovative low tech ideas that grab your eye. This one plays on Sprint's theme of "Speed of Light."



I know Sprint has had some troubles of late and is in hot water for firing some of their more bitchy customers, but they seem to be making moves against the monolith of AT&T /Apple and its glroious new Savior of the Universe, the iPhone. I don't know how Sprint's service works, as I've been locked into Cingular/AT&T for too long.

I'm pretty sure every service has its pitfalls and drawbacks - and all you're left with to distinguish them in the end is marketing. This does that, I think. As someone pointed out on American Copywriter, the writing could use some tweaking, but still, it's not bad.

Notes on YouTube say the park this was shot at is Yerba Buena Gardens in San Francisco and that the music is by Architecture in Helsinki.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Your Whole Life is a Sponsored Moment™

I was sitting at the Jetpacks Mobile WorkStation when I noticed a bunch of logos staring back at me. And so, this blog post was brought to you by Yahoo!®, Corona®, Dell®, Logitech® peripherals, the Dish Network®, Verizon® Wireless Broadband and Kensington® peripherals. (And Blogger®, by Google®.)

And none of them have paid me yet.

I guess I use them because they're good, or maybe I perceived them as quality goods and services at affordable prices when I engaged them in business, but how do I know that's true if I don't try the others? Like a fickle client leaving a decent, performing agency for another, I'm willing to ditch these brands who haven't been giving me cold, hard cash (or kickbacks & free stuff) in return for my patronage.

So, if another computer manufacturer would like to furnish a better laptop than this rode hard, put-away-wet dinosaur, get in touch. I might even be persuaded to crossover to the Mac® side.

If Comcast®, BrightHouse® or another competitor of the Dish Network® wants in here, we're open.

Kensington® and Logitech® competitors?

Cingular® on the wireless? (Oh, wait. I mean AT&T®.) And I'll go ahead and invite Sprint® to participate in the RFP.

MSN®? Google®? You want a piece?

Oh, wait. Google® provides the blog, the email, the cool maps, the relatively reliable search results, the awesome view of my house from outer space and all kinds of other goodies - for FREE. (All with a simple, clean interface. Verdict: Exempted this month) So, MSN®, you get first shot at the beer cozy sponsorship.

Corona®...I guess you can stick around a while longer. One month exemption.

(Oh, yeah. Nikon® took the picture. You have 30 days from today, otherwise Canon® gets a shot.)

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