Ads That Work In Spite of Themselves

Every Sunday morning I flip through the Times magazine in search of blog fodder; an ad that I can praise or mock. Fashion ads are easy targets. (See here.) But this morning, a busily designed ad kept me staring for a long time. (Click image for very large.) On the surface this is throwaway crap, if your idea of a good ad means pretty photography and limited copy. But the more you study it, the more intriguing it becomes.

It starts, strangely, with the words "Om Sai Ram" in the upper left corner. I had to look that one up. It's a spiritual greeting used by followers of Sai Baba, a South Indian guru. Then we have the very generic headline "The Million Dollar Look," and the equally bland subhead, "Dress for Success." Then some copy telling men that if they want to be successful, they should have these custom clothes by Hong Kong Grand by William Sani. And your mind goes, "Oh, a Hong Kong tailor, like in my grandfather's day, when people who could afford to went to Hong Kong to get custom-fitted for a suit." Hong Kong tailored suits were some sort of badge of success, and people who wore them would not be shy in telling you where they came from. I'm sure guys still do this. William Sani is from Orange County, California though, and that's him on the far left dressed as a 1960s British banker, and again second from right, as James Bond. His son is the little man second from left. No clue on who the guy far right is, but he's got a phone to his ear, and that spells success. Here's William's Facebook and here's his website, where you can also see his wife, daughter and the family dog. I assume that the cityscape behind the men is Hong Kong. Then William gives you his "direct cellphone" number, inviting you to call him for an appointment. (In a later mention of his cellphone, he gives hours that you can call, but fails to mention a time zone.) Or you can get in touch at one of his two AOL email accounts.

Then we get to the catalog-styled portion of the ad, which forces the suit-buying man to study it to see which package he would prefer, compare prices and offers. Is he a President, a CFO, a CEO? Just how successful does he want to be?

Then, the nationwide barnstorming tour dates of Mr. Sani are offered, where in less than a month he will visit 21 hotels, racking up some serious Marriott Rewards points and presumably meeting and measuring the suit-buying public for their successful clothes made in Hong Kong. He asks that you call him the day you want an appointment. Scheduling is apparently not Mr. Sani's thing. Day to day, city to city, Marriott to Marriott. Then I guess he sends those measurements to Hong Kong, where his team of seamstresses whip up your order and ship it to you. Then, at the party, you constantly but casually, as if by accident or searching for your pen, reveal the inside of the left breast pocket to display that telling Hong Kong Grand label.
 
It's not hard to find former customers of Hong Kong Grand who were deeply disappointed in what they received for their money, but Mr. Sani has apparently been doing full-pagers like this for quite some time. So he knows what he's doing, at least as an advertiser. I suppose his suite at the Marriott will be a revolving door of men hoping to look successful, Mr. Sani in shirtsleeves and tape measure, ordering up lunch from room service.

To finish off the piece, we get something you never see. The ad's designer signs his work at the very bottom, even offering his phone number.

If nothing else, an intriguing ad. And it's probably working.

They Didn't Even Mention "Windproof"

Except for pizza and porn, we don't make much of anything in the US anymore. Except Zippo lighters and the occasional eye-catching ad. Two simple points: "Guaranteed for life" and "Made in USA." Love the junkyard of disposable lighters, driving the first point home. They keep hidden a third point that Zippo was founded on: "Windproof."

But like the heirloom watch ads, I'd like to see a nice shot of an old biker passing his Zippo lighter down to his skater grandson.

And I Thought I Sucked at Photoshop

A commenter on my recent post, wherein I attempted to make light of digital art and the Tea Party movement all at once, failed to see the humor. OK, Tim. Whatever. Relax a little, bro. I guess what I thought was funny and obviously tongue-in-cheek did not register with some. Maybe I should endeavor to be more mainstream henceforth and curb my appetite for the bizarre and off-the-wall, the better not to confuse and bewilder my more literal-minded readers.

But if Tim wants to cast stones at people who suck at Photoshop, he can look no further than this ad, a full-pager from yesterday's New York Times Magazine, in which a golfer is lining up a putt while a massive, not-at-all-Photoshopped alligator lines up on him. 
(Click image for larger.)

Sex it Up with Fragoli

From the people who brought us the image of a naked woman biting a bottle of liquor, comes more in the Super Subtle Style of advertising.

In our first ad, five young ladies are enjoying each other's company in a very innocent, friendly way.

Five out of five brunettes of varying nationalities agree, Fragoli turns your ordinary party into a sapphic lust fest.

And then, apparently the new signature image of Fragoli is this one. Why, it's a nude woman in repose, with giant lips on her back, which I'm guessing invite the viewer to kiss her butt crack and spine. See how the gently parting lips become her butt crack? Isn't that clever?

Kiss my ass. Classy.

So dangerous, aren't they? Something tells me Fragoli might be holding onto a couple more images that they've classified as "Banned!" that they plan to leak later.

But you and I can sit back and mock this poor taste, perhaps favoring a more hinted scenario that would still reveal unmistakable sensuality, but this stuff is apparently working for Fragoli, who can afford two full-page ads in Sunday's New York Times Magazine.

All Aboard The (Very Expensive) Hope Train

Macy's, Grey Goose, Darby Scott and others are "honoring" Barack Obama with advertising this morning in the The New York Times Magazine. Most of them just mention him in some way: a toast; a "we stand with" type tribute.

Steuben Glass, on the other hand, has upped the ante in the kitsch category with this $7,500 plate.

Own a piece of history with our exquisite 16” diameter commemorative plate created by the Steuben Design Team to mark the inauguration of America’s 44th President, Barack Hussein Obama. On the hand-polished convex surface of the plate Obama’s minutely detailed portrait is captured in brilliant crystal. The inscription beneath it pays tribute to the importance of the occasion. Mounted for display on an elegant brushed stainless steel base, this splendid keepsake is offered in an exclusive edition limited to a symbolic 44 examples. A collector’s prize, it will make an heirloom gift to be treasured for generations to come.

Limited edition of 44. Hurry, while supplies last.

Getting Way Too Close To Our Customers' Daughters

Today's New York Times Magazine has one of those multi-page supplements that advertise a country in the Middle East. This week, it's Ajman, "Jewel of the Gulf," or "Emerald of the Sand" or some such thing, as they are all known. As usual, it's a bunch of carefully scrubbed copy showcasing the desert boom of the United Arab Emirates, with glittering glass towers and opportunity at every corner. Sultans, Princes CEOs and Sheiks tell you in boring advertorial style that this is where you need to spend your money. "It's the new land of opportunity," their eyes implore from their official portraits.
And within this huge and very expensive PR piece are many easily mocked ads, and since it's early and I can't think yet, I'll go for the cheapest, easiest one. It's for Ajman Bank, where we see a young girl being given to the banker as his new bride as a down payment on a loan.

Rich Punks Need Discipline

"Your son will succeed" declares this ad that runs in the back pages of every issue of Sunday's New York Times Magazine. It's for St. Thomas Moore School, a place for "young men who have not yet realized their potential."

The former bad boys pose in their caps and gowns, proud to have made it out of high school. You, the parents, are just glad your boy no longer terrorizes your plush suburb with his loud music and lowered street rod, cavorting with those skanks from Jersey, who are the reason he started drinking, you're certain.

You may rest now because he's far away, across the Sound in scenic Connecticut, learning discipline and time management in the Jesuit tradition. And at $34K per year, it was well worth it to have the ungrateful brat out of your hair.

And bonus! When he comes home for Thanksgiving, you'll note with delight that your son no longer uses that faux ghetto Chav-speak. He sounds nearly like...a Kennedy!

Noted alumni include the born rich but almost went bad Mario Van Peebles, currently succeeding somewhere.

Anorexic Cougar Takes Son's Friend to Atlantic City

Click for bigness

"Can I have some quarters for the game-room, Mrs. Robinson?"

Nice pool. And maybe she's not that much older than him, but there's something in this image that suggests the lady may be a little senior to the boy she lounges with at The Water Club, an Atlantic City hotel in development. Maybe she just seems too classy and he seems more suited to an XBox ad. The website takes the prize for longest URL in luxury lodging. But they have some nice Flash work previewing the property. If Atlantic City is your thing.

Scanned from today's NYT Magazine.

Hintin' at Clinton

Todays' New York Times Magazine (cover story on the Clintons) has some interesting Clinton-focused ads within.

You can't subliminalize me, NYT. I see where you stand on the upcoming election. You probably told your sponsors, "This is our Clinton issue, so feel free to include hints of Clinton in your ads this week."


The back cover is for a special holiday bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label, which comes with the option of engraving the bottle for your friends. This bottle is engraved from (or to, not sure) "Bill."


















But then explain this. One of the longer running ads in this magazine is for a walk-in tub by Premier. This time they've got a couple of new models who look eerily like a certain former president and his wannabe president wife.